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Should One Million More Brits Take Antidepressants?

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Should One Million More Brits Take Antidepressants?

 

I just came across an article on Yahoo News with the headline - 'Antidepressants work, study finds, and a million more British people should take them'. My issue with this article is not against the use of antidepressants, as I appreciate they can prove helpful and people I care about in my close proximity have benefited. I have a problem with the headline saying that people 'should' take them. 

Should one million more Brits start taking antidepressants, really?

Recent stats show a 108% increase in the use of antidepressants in England during the ten-year period from 2006, with nearly 65 million prescriptions handed out in 2016 alone. The researchers behind the report, published in the Lancet, said that their study showed that a million more people in Britain could benefit from the drug. Perhaps they could. But antidepressants are also a bandaid. They are treating the symptoms of sadness. Drugs like prozac should not sit at the heart of any proactive strategy for improving the happiness of humanity. Instead of investing in studying the effects of drugs that treat symptoms, would it not be more beneficial to answer important questions that could resolve the underlying causes of the need for antidepressants, like: 

Why are so many people in our present day society so unhappy?

What can be done to improve mental health? 


THE NUMBING EFFECT

Humans have inhabited this planet for around 200,000 years. Yet despite the passing of so many generations, many of us still find it hard to live with major components of being human: namely our mind and emotions.  How you relate to your own mind and life plays a major role in the emotions you experience most often. The more you get ‘lost in your thinking mind’ by dwelling on thoughts about the past or future, and the more you are in conflict with life, the more ‘negative’ emotions you will end up feeling. 

At the same time, many of us have also been conditioned to have an unhealthy relationship with our emotions, which is a core cause of much stress, struggle and suffering.

As children we are often encouraged to tone down or turn away from the intense emotions that were perceived to be 'negative'. We are also often taught that we should only feel 'positive' emotions. Based upon an unhealthy relationship with emotions, it is common to be conditioned to attempt to avoid the ‘bad’ ones at all cost. This conditioning has led to millions of us fearing certain emotions, habitually resisting and controlling them and engaged in a fight with our feelings. The subsequent suppression of emotions, has lead to many turning to ways to numb themselves from certain emotions rather than use how they feel for positive outcomes.


COMMON CAUSES OF CHRONIC SADNESS

Through my clinical observations, chronic sadness is commonly a result of thinking patterns based on the themes of lack, limitation, victimhood, comparison, unfairness, wrongness or ‘poor me’.  Although it may appear that we are sad because of circumstances. We feel whatever we are thinking about - whether we are aware of the thoughts or not. Quite simply, if you are engaging a sad mind-set, then that is how you will inevitably feel.

Common mind-based causes of sadness include: Resistance to what's happened in the past, the belief that something needs to be better/different, feelings of powerlessness, pointlessness, focusing on what’s wrong, over- comparison, feeling unseen, perceived lack, absence of a compelling life purpose, resisting certain emotions to the point of numbness. When it comes to common thinking patterns, these include: ‘I wish it had not happened that way’, ‘What’s the point?’ ‘Life is difficult’ or ‘Life is unfair’ type-thinking.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not suggesting these thinking patterns are only causes of depression. I'm saying that pills tend to only treat the symptoms of sadness, rather than the underlying mind-based causes. 


PRINCIPLES FOR IMPROVED MENTAL HEALTH

Through my work I've come across four principles that can help anyone to feel better more often. I don't know anyone who is actively applying these principles and experiencing depression. Warning: They require an open mind and a willingness to explore a healthier relationship with emotions. 

Principle 1 - You are not your emotions. What emotion are you currently feeling? Has there ever been a time in your life when this emotion was not present? What has been present the entire time? You know you have emotions because you are aware of them and there has also been a time in your life when the current emotion has not been happening. Anything temporary cannot be you. You are the permanent aspect of your self that doesn’t come and go. So what’s the most permanent aspect of you? Awareness.

Knowing this naturally changes your relationship with emotions. If they are not you, then you can learn to take them less personally. You don’t need to fight with or fear your feelings because you are not the transiting energy passing through, but the vast sky of still awareness that all emotions temporarily exist within. Repeat after me: 'I am the permanent awareness that is aware of temporary emotions'. 

Principle 2 - External life does not cause inner emotions. Though it appears emotions are a result of what happens in life, it is not necessarily the case. We feel sad when by engaging in sad thoughts and feeling our  thinking. No person, event or thing has the inherent power to make you feel any which way.

When we accept that external life isn’t the ultimate cause of your ‘negative’ emotions we stop being a victim to circumstance. We also save lots of time, money and effort trying to fix, change and improve our circumstances in order to feel better. Repeat after me: 'I'm feeling what I'm feeling because I'm thinking what I'm thinking'.

Principle 3 - Peace is not the absence of emotions. Emotions don’t need to disappear for you to experience peace. Awareness remains calm and well despite transiting temporary energy. If you are waiting for your emotions to stop so that you can experience a numb void of emotionless peace, then the good news is that your emotions don’t need to go anywhere for you to enjoy consistent calm.

Peace is not the absence of emotions. Peace is what the awareness that is aware of your emotions feels like. In other words, being self-aware, you can experience a sense of inner stillness alongside any temporary emotion. It is not either/or it is both calm and emotions. Repeat after me: 'My awareness is not depressed'. 

Principle 4 -  You do not want to be emotionless. Emotions are energy in motion. Without energy you’re a goner and with it you are highly likely going to be a go-getter. As long as you are unwilling to experience the full spectrum of emotions, you will be suppressing your vitality. For optimum health you need energy and as far as the body is concerned, all energy is good. Emotions don’t harm the body; it is conflict towards them and life that does. Therefore, to resist emotions is to limit the energy that the body needs to heal and be healthy.

Everything you want in your external life is also made up of energy and requires energy to create. So to improve your life, you really don’t want to be emotionless. Far from it; the more emotional energy, the better. The key is to use your emotions to help you. If you are feeling down about life, then what do you need to say 'no' to and what exciting things do you need to say 'yes' to?  Letting the emotional energy be present within you, with no resistance, allows the power of your emotions to rise up and their positive purpose be actualised. Repeat after me: 'I harness the power of my emotions to help me bring about positive changes'. 


A POSITIVE PRESCRIPTION

I'm obviously not suggesting that one article can help heal the depression epidemic. However, if a million people should do one thing it would be to meditate. Meditation can help you to discover the permanent aspect of your Self that is beyond temporary emotions. By learning to be self-aware [aware of the aspect of your Self that is Aware], you can reconnect with the 'inner peace that is always present', no longer rely on life being 'positive' for you to feel good and harness the power of emotions for positive purposes. 


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SANDY C. NEWBIGGING

I teach meditation and offer coaching to help  people to heal the hidden causes of health and life issues. I also write books, run an online community and train Calmologists.


 

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Attracting the Perfect Life Partner (That You Didn't Know You Wanted)

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Attracting the Perfect Life Partner (That You Didn't Know You Wanted)

Have you been single for longer than you would like? Do you believe that there's nobody out there for you? Are you questioning if you'll ever meet your life partner? Falling in love is one of the most wonderful human experiences. If you are single with a desire to meet someone and fall in love, then here's five top tips that can help you to lay the foundations for finding someone and enjoying a fantastic relationship:

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How To Heal Your Relationship

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How To Heal Your Relationship

 

Are you struggling with a particular relationship? Do you question whether you are right together or would you like help resolving any conflict that keep cropping up in your current relationship? To connect more deeply, you want to focus on warming up your own side of the fence first - instead of trying to fix, change or improve others so they are more loveable.

It is easy to fall into the trap of making relationship conflicts about the other person. What they said or didn’t say. What they did or didn’t do. What they meant or didn’t mean. But to proactively move from conflict to connection, you must remember that your relationships with others are a perfect reflection of your relationship with yourself. Here are five ways to heal any floundering relationship.

1. Be the person you want to love

People try to take from others what they aren’t experiencing within themselves. If you think that someone else should be kinder, more communicative, giving etc. then ask: Where can I be more of what I want?  When you become the person you have wanted other people to be, many conflicts dissolve away because you no longer resist the lack of certain attributes in others and aren’t attached to them being a better or improved version.

2. Take everything as an invitation to love better

We habitually want other people to change so we don’t have to. However as the saying goes, when you point the figure there are always three pointing back at you. Look for themes in any arguments, disappointments and common feedback you receive from others. Don’t waste time playing the blame game to instead be open and humble. Explore if any issue you have with someone else is an invitation to learn how to love in a more unconditional way.

3. Look for opportunities to give, especially praise

Service sits at the heart of the most successful relationships. ‘How can I serve you?’ as opposed to ‘What’s in it for me?’ Whenever you feel a problem arising in a relationship, find ways to give and be of service. When you make the relationship about how you can help the other person to be happy, feel loved and have a great day (without trying to fix or change them), then it’s amazing how fluid and fun relationships become.

4. Be willing to share more of your vulnerable side

Raising your defensive walls within relationships is a fear-based habit that can be transcended. There is great strength in vulnerability because it takes humility and courage to let your ‘weaknesses’ be seen by others. I am constantly amazed by how quickly conflict evaporates when one party is willing to honestly share what’s really going on for them. ‘When you did that I felt scared that you might leave me’ or ‘when you work late I question if it’s because you don’t want to be home with me’. It’s very hard to be in conflict with someone waving the transparent flag of vulnerability.

5. Don’t go changing trying to please me

Would you feel completely loved by someone if they always wanted you to be different? If you weren’t quite good looking enough, funny enough, clever enough, rich enough or tidy enough, for example?  How loved would you feel living with that kind of pressure to perform? I can only assume, not very much.

My Spiritual Teacher once asked: Are you willing to fully commit to this relationship, even if the other person never changes? Well, are you? Forcing others to live up to your criteria for what’s ‘loveable’ only leads to a fake love with its foundations based in judgement. But if you desire deeper connections then let others be enough, exactly as they are now, it’s the key to healing relationships and loving without limits.

When Leaving Is The Best Option... The caveat to what I've shared above is whenever there is any form of abuse going on. On these occasions, it’s time to call it a day and get the hell out of dodge. It’s not your job to fix the other person or make them stop their destructive relationship patterns. It is their responsibility to resolve their issues. If this sounds harsh, it is quite the opposite. Walking away can be the very wake up call they need to heal the stuff that’s preventing them from experiencing real love. If you stay, you can limit them from the lessons they need. If you find it hard to leave, then clear the conflict within you that would cause you to stay in an abusive relationship. 


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SANDY C. NEWBIGGING

I teach meditation and heal the hidden causes of health and life issues. I also write books, run an online community and academy and ride motorbikes.


Please like, share and comment if you enjoyed this blog.

 

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Why I Love What I Do + How You Can Too

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Why I Love What I Do + How You Can Too

 

I was working with a coaching client today who recently left their job and is setting up their own business. She was asking about how to get clear on what she wants to do and my response was simply to get clear on what she really cares about right now.

I care about as many people as possible on this planet experiencing peace. I'm passionate about doing everything I can to reduce suffering and increase the happiness of humanity. I'm also committed to oneness and doing my bit to bring more love into the world.

Every morning I wake up, I make my day about this. How can I bring more peace, happiness and love to the planet?  Yes, it may sound like a rather grandiose daily intention, but it's what drives me because I care about it. Deeply. 

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What do you care about? So much so that you would do it every day, if you could, even if it didn't bring in any financial benefit. Obviously, we all have responsibilities and money is part of the game of being human. But in my experience, by approaching life in this way, the abundance takes care of itself. Quite simply because if you care about it and do it as much as possible, you will end up very good at it and provide value to the lives of others.

It's brought me so much joy to hear from so many of you during January on how the 10 Transformational Teachings online course (currently free on my website) has positively impacted your life. Just a few minutes ago I received the gift of this email - 

"I have listened to the 10 Teachings course at least twice and am currently reading the [New Beginnings] book. It is liberating to let go of my worries about the future and my judgments on the past. I feel ridiculously happy and peaceful with the present, regardless of what is going on. You are truly inspirational Sandy and I can't thank you enough for giving me back my NOW!"

Wow! I get messages like this almost every day and it's one of the reasons why I love what I do. If you haven't done the 10 Teachings course on my website, it's available for free until the end of January, which is when my 50% sale on coaching ends too. I guess the moral of the story and invitation today is:

Do whatever you can to spend your days doing what you care about deeply. It is a great way to discover and develop your gifts and live with positivity and purpose.

 

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SANDY C. NEWBIGGING

I teach meditation + heal the hidden causes of health + life issues. I also write books, run an online community + academy, travel + ride motorbikes.


Please comment, like and share below!

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Merry Mindful Christmas

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Merry Mindful Christmas

 

Amidst the annual pressures to purchase piles of presents, decorate every orifice of your home or office, manage a social schedule that keeps everyone happy, and still leave enough time for the pursuit of the perfect mince pie… It’s easy to end up super stressed and lose sight of the bigger-picture point of what this time of year is all about.

Thankfully you don’t have to wait for the Three Wise Men to come knocking at your door to get the advice you need to enjoy the festivities - free from stress!  You just need to be more mindful with these three top tips.

1. REDUCE THE RUSH : BE MINDFUL OF THE MOMENT

Time tends to feel limited and stress-levels rise when we stop focusing on what we are doing now and get caught up over thinking about all the other things that need done later. The reality is you can only ever do one thing at a time. Through being present by giving all of your attention to whatever you are doing, right now, you naturally end up even more effective and efficient and enjoy the whole experience.

Focus on the task in hand by being mindful of your senses. Really look and listen and tune into what you are touching. Wrap each present without giving any thought to the pile waiting in the sidelines. Properly feel the spoon in your hand as you stir the gravy.  Notice the colours of the Christmas lights that are passing by as you drive to the shops or your next social engagement. 

In essence, fully engage the reality of what is occurring in the immediate here and now. You’ll be amazed by how time has a magical way of stretching and how you get so much more done - with very little stress.

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2. IF ARGUMENTS ARISE : AIM FOR AGREEMENT

Whether it is the best way to baste the Turkey, the precise timing for the opening of presents or what to watch on the box. Things can quickly become heated and we all want to avoid the family fighting out their differences by brandishing the nearest luxury cracker.

Arguments usually happen because we are disagreeing on the finer details and forgetting to find the collective consensus.  If you sense an argument arising, you want to be a calming influence by remaining mindful of the common ground. This can be done by rising above the details and seeing the bigger picture preference of everyone enjoying what they eat, getting along great and having lots of fun.

Yes, there are multiple ways to cook the bird. But what matters most is it’s cooked properly and the family doesn’t spend the following few days frequenting the toilet with food poisoning. Yes, you may want to watch a particular programme. But isn’t it more pleasant to muster some festive spirit to relinquish control of the remote?  I promise the positive paybacks are more rewarding than getting your own way. (Besides, there’s always iPlayer later.)

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3. IF IT'S ALL TOO MUCH : TAKE A TIME-OUT FROM THE TINSEL

Just because you love them, it doesn’t mean you have to spend every waking moment in their company.  Silence is golden after all and giving yourself the gift of a few minutes time-out can work wonders not only for your serenity, but your sanity too. Find a quiet place, close your eyes and have a few moments of meditation. 

Begin by taking a few mindful breaths by noticing the feel of the air as it flows in and out of your nose. Continue meditating by being gently alert with your attention wide and open. Get a sense of the space in the room where you are residing. Be attentive to the silence that any sounds are occurring within and give yourself the gift of being present for a while. I recommend doing any of the Free Guided Meditations available on my website whenever you get a chance.

Even 5-10 minutes of sitting still, breathing in a balanced way and exploring the inner stillness can help you to hit the re-set button and return to proceedings with more calm and Christmas cheer.  

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Let me take this opportunity to wish you a very Merry Mindful Christmas! Sandy x


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Sandy C. Newbigging is a coaching and meditation expert, award-winning speaker, bestselling author and creator of Calmology. 

Sandy has meditated for thousands of hours and done thousands of hours of clinical practice using his Calmology techniques. Giving him a unique ability to help people get to the heart of their issues to 'heal the hidden cause' and experience 'peace with life' via his easy-to-use and understand teachings and techniques. 


 

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Heart Warming Relationships

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Heart Warming Relationships

 

For the best relationships, aim to focus on warming up your own side of the fence - instead of trying to fix, change or improve others so they are more loveable.

My Spiritual Teacher once said: 'If you want to know how you are doing on your spiritual path then go spend some time with your family and you'll soon find out!'. It's so true. There are some relationships that appear to have more power than others when it comes to pressing our buttons; to trigger us and make us react.  

It is easy to fall into the trap of making relationship conflicts about the other person. What they said or didn’t say. What they did or didn’t do. What they meant or didn’t mean. But to proactively move from conflict to connection, you must remember that your relationships with others are a perfect reflection of your relationship with yourself. How you feel is down to your relationship with the particular relationship, which is a perfect reflection of your relationship with yourself. Lots of ‘relationships’ mentioned then, but the only relationship that I would recommend focusing on healing is the one with your self.

Ultimately, nobody has the power to emotionally hurt or anger you either. You get hurt and angry when you internalise what's happened by thinking about someone else's words or actions. Whatever you are feeling in relation to someone else is caused by what’s happening inside you, so that’s where to look first - to resolve any issue that may be standing between you and kinder, connected and loving relationships. 

Here are my five top tips for keeping your heart warm this winter.

1. Be the person you want to love

People try to take from others what they aren’t experiencing within themselves. If you think that someone else should be kinder, more communicative, giving etc. then ask: Where can I be more of what I want?  When you become the person you have wanted other people to be, many conflicts dissolve away because you no longer resist the lack of certain attributes in others and aren’t attached to them being a better or improved version. In short, you don't need the other person to be any particular way because you are already experiencing it within your self.

2. Take everything as an invitation to love better

We habitually (accidentally) want other people to change so we don’t have to. However as the saying goes, when you point the figure there are always three pointing back at you. Look for themes in any arguments, disappointments and common feedback you receive from others. Don’t waste time playing the blame game to instead be open and humble. Explore if any issue you have with someone else is an invitation to learn how to love in a more unconditional way. 

3. Look for opportunities to give

Service sits at the heart of the most successful relationships. ‘How can I serve you?’ as opposed to ‘What’s in it for me?’ Whenever you feel a problem arising in a relationship, find ways to give and be of service. When you make the relationship about how you can help the other person to be happy, feel loved and have a great day (without trying to fix or change them), then it’s amazing how fluid and fun relationships become.

4. Be willing to share more of yourself

Raising your defensive walls within relationships is a fear-based habit that can be transcended. There is great strength in vulnerability because it takes humility and courage to let your ‘weaknesses’ be seen by others. I am constantly amazed by how quickly conflict evaporates when one party is willing to honestly share what’s really going on for them. ‘When you did that I felt scared that you might leave me’ or ‘when you work late I question if it’s because you don’t want to be home with me’. It’s very hard to be in conflict with someone waving the transparent flag of vulnerability.

5. Don’t go changing trying to please me

Would you feel completely loved by someone if they always wanted you to be different? If you weren’t quite good looking enough, funny enough, clever enough, rich enough or tidy enough, for example?  How loved would you feel living with that kind of pressure to perform? I can only assume, not very much.

My Spiritual Teacher also once asked: Are you willing to fully commit to this relationship, even if the other person never changes? Well, are you? Forcing others to live up to your criteria for what’s ‘loveable’ only leads to a fake love with its foundations based in judgement and fear. But if you desire deeper connections then let others be enough, exactly as they are now. It’s the key to loving without limits.  


Meditation for healing relationships...

This is one of the best meditations I've found to help heal relationships. I recommend you use it once per day for the next week (or longer if you feel some more inner work would be helpful). It only takes 5 minutes, but the results can transform your relationships for a lifetime. Give it a go! 


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ABOUT SANDY C. NEWBIGGING

Sandy is a modern-day monk, creator of Calmology and multi-bestselling author. His books include Mind Calm, Body Calm and the new Calm Cure: The Unexpected Way to Improve Your Health, Your Life and Your World.

www.sandynewbigging.com


If you enjoyed and benefited from this article, please like, comment and share it! 

 

 

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How to Prevent the Common Cold and Flu (Or Heal Quicker If You're Reading This Too Late!)

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How to Prevent the Common Cold and Flu (Or Heal Quicker If You're Reading This Too Late!)

The peak season for catching the common cold or flu is nearly upon us. So if you are reading this when first published, you still have time to be proactive in preventing either this year. Or if you happen to be a bit late and are already reaching for the Kleenex, then there are still things you can do to heal quicker and reduce the odds of the next onset. The information shared within this article could save you time, money and discomfort, so it's worth investing a few minutes in reading it!

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13 Scary But True Spiritual Truths That Are Not For the Faint-Hearted (FULL ARTICLE)

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13 Scary But True Spiritual Truths That Are Not For the Faint-Hearted (FULL ARTICLE)

Walking any spiritual path takes courage. There are several scary but true spiritual truths that anyone with a deep desire to 'wake up' will usually encounter along the way. But be warned, these truths are not for the faint hearted or those only interested in dabbling in spirituality as a hobby. They are also not for people that are content with only gathering ego-pleasing concepts on enlightenment. The ego may want to reject or dismiss these truths and provide convincing reasons for doing so, or they may inspire some pretty challenging questions or possibilities. But for those of us who are genuinely serious about self-awakening, they offer an extremely helpful guide for knowing you are on track and doing the inner work required.

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Emotional Causes of Conditions Relating to the Organs of the Body

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Emotional Causes of Conditions Relating to the Organs of the Body

Do you have a health problem that relates to one or more of the organs of your body? Such as high/low blood pressure (that relates to the heart) or a skin condition like psoriasis or eczema? Due to the scientifically proven mind-body connection, your physical condition may have some kind of mental or emotional cause. To help your body heal, it can therefore be highly beneficial to adopt an integrative self-healing strategy that takes account of what's happening in your mind, body and life.

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Four Life-Changing Principles for True Emotional Freedom

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Four Life-Changing Principles for True Emotional Freedom

Peace with the full spectrum of emotions is incredibly liberating. Just think how free you would be if you weren’t worried about how life might make you feel. How free you would be if you weren’t scared of standing out or being seen, not resistant to the possibility of people judging you, or perhaps not succeeding at your first attempt. If we aren’t going for grandiose goals, it is often because we are held back, not by circumstance, but by a fear of how life might make us feel. Imagine what would happen if you were emotionally free!

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General Election: I want a political leader who is...

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General Election: I want a political leader who is...

In today's political world, policy is often given precedent over the person. With the primary focus on the finer details of specific issues like Brexit, national security, taxation, healthcare, immigration etc. I see very little airtime given to what matters most in a political leader i.e. the person at the heart and head of the party. I want a political leader who is... 

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The Top 12 Habits that Limit Love in Your Relationships

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The Top 12 Habits that Limit Love in Your Relationships

It is easy to fall into the trap of making relationship conflicts about the other person. What they said or didn’t say. What they did or didn’t do. What they meant or didn’t mean. But to be proactive about moving from conflict to connection, you’ll need to focus on cleaning up your side of the fence.

For the best relationships, look to heal whatever is happening within you, instead of trying to fix, change or improve other people so that they are loveable.  It is not anyone else’s job to make you happy or feel loved, it is yours. How you feel is down to your relationship with the particular relationship, which is a perfect reflection of your relationship with yourself.

Lots of ‘relationships’ mentioned then, but the only relationship that I would recommend focusing on healing is the one with your self. Whatever you are feeling in relation to someone else is caused by what’s happening inside you, so that’s where to look to resolve any issue that may be standing between you and more kind, connected and loving relationships. 

Here are the top 10 habits that hinder loving relationships. If you find you are doing any of them, I recommend using the Calm Cure technique (shared in my Calm Cure book), to help heal them:

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How to Experience Financial Freedom : Video

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How to Experience Financial Freedom : Video

In this video I talk about how you can experience true financial freedom with the right attitude and relationship with money. My strategy for financial freedom may not be what you think, so check out this video to find out how you can be free without working harder...

Money: the root of all kinds of evil or a route to enlightenment and personal freedom? With the right attitude and relationship with money, I believe it’s the latter. If we define money in terms of physical currencies such as bank notes, coins and cash deposited in bank accounts, there’s currently around $80 trillion kicking about. Whereas if we include other forms of nonphysical money – including digital currency Bitcoin and funds invested in financial products like derivatives – then the total runs into the quadrillions (that’s 15 zeros!).6 This means that money is both a physical and a nonphysical entity. The reason I raise this is that the nature of money is very relevant to how we relate to it. We all have an objective (physical/outer) and a subjective (nonphysical/inner) experience of money. Said slightly differently, we have the objective reality of how much money we physically possess and a subjective inner experience of how it feels to have that amount of money.

Collectively, we have come to rely upon money to define our sense of self and to feel safe, secure, valuable and free. This strategy will never work because if we seek these subjective experiences from outside means, then they will forever be dependent on fluctuating financial conditions. This dependency on money again creates conflict, so it therefore pays dividends to invest in improving our subjective inner relationship with money – if we want our financial experience to improve. In short, millions of people have made money way too important and a rebalancing of power is needed to return to a more sane and serene coexistence with it.

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Emotional Freedom Guided Meditation : Audio

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Emotional Freedom Guided Meditation : Audio

This 14-minute guided meditation is for cultivating the attitude required for experiencing peace with the full spectrum of your emotions.

This is the key to emotional freedom because emotions become problematic if there is resistance to experiencing certain ones or any attachment to only experiencing the ones that we’ve been taught are positive. By healing your relationship with your emotions you are learning there is no need to try to fix, change or improve them.

This comes from knowing you are not your temporary emotions, that emotions are not caused by the external life events that you believe are making you feel bad, but by feeling your thinking about life. That peace is not the absence of emotions but instead, peace is what the awareness that’s aware of all of your emotions feels like, and ultimately, the more emotions the better.

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How To Heal Your Relationship

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How To Heal Your Relationship

Are you struggling with a particular relationship? Do you question whether you are right together or would you like help resolving any conflict that keep cropping up in your current relationship? To connect more deeply, you want to focus on warming up your own side of the fence first - instead of trying to fix, change or improve others so they are more loveable.

It is easy to fall into the trap of making relationship conflicts about the other person. What they said or didn’t say. What they did or didn’t do. What they meant or didn’t mean. But to proactively move from conflict to connection, you must remember that your relationships with others are a perfect reflection of your relationship with yourself. Here are five ways to heal any floundering relationship.

 

1. Be The Person You Want To Love

People try to take from others what they aren’t experiencing within themselves. If you think that someone else should be kinder, more communicative, giving etc. then ask: Where can I be more of what I want?  When you become the person you have wanted other people to be, many conflicts dissolve away because you no longer resist the lack of certain attributes in others and aren’t attached to them being a better or improved version.

 

2. Take Everything As An Invitation To Love Better

We habitually want other people to change so we don’t have to. However as the saying goes, when you point the figure there are always three pointing back at you. Look for themes in any arguments, disappointments and common feedback you receive from others. Don’t waste time playing the blame game to instead be open and humble. Explore if any issue you have with someone else is an invitation to learn how to love in a more unconditional way.

 

3. Look For Opportunities To Give, Especially Praise

Service sits at the heart of the most successful relationships. ‘How can I serve you?’ as opposed to ‘What’s in it for me?’ Whenever you feel a problem arising in a relationship, find ways to give and be of service. When you make the relationship about how you can help the other person to be happy, feel loved and have a great day (without trying to fix or change them), then it’s amazing how fluid and fun relationships become.

 

4. Be Willing To Share More Of Your Vulnerable Side

Raising your defensive walls within relationships is a fear-based habit that can be transcended. There is great strength in vulnerability because it takes humility and courage to let your ‘weaknesses’ be seen by others. I am constantly amazed by how quickly conflict evaporates when one party is willing to honestly share what’s really going on for them. ‘When you did that I felt scared that you might leave me’ or ‘when you work late I question if it’s because you don’t want to be home with me’. It’s very hard to be in conflict with someone waving the transparent flag of vulnerability.

 

5. Don’t Go Changing Trying To Please Me

Would you feel completely loved by someone if they always wanted you to be different? If you weren’t quite good looking enough, funny enough, clever enough, rich enough or tidy enough, for example?  How loved would you feel living with that kind of pressure to perform? I can only assume, not very much.

My Spiritual Teacher once asked: Are you willing to fully commit to this relationship, even if the other person never changes? Well, are you? Forcing others to live up to your criteria for what’s ‘loveable’ only leads to a fake love with its foundations based in judgement. But if you desire deeper connections then let others be enough, exactly as they are now, it’s the key to healing relationships and loving without limits.

When Leaving Is The Best Option... The caveat to what I've shared above is whenever there is any form of abuse going on. On these occasions, it’s time to call it a day and get the hell out of dodge. It’s not your job to fix the other person or make them stop their destructive relationship patterns. It is their responsibility to resolve their issues. If this sounds harsh, it is quite the opposite. Walking away can be the very wake up call they need to heal the stuff that’s preventing them from experiencing real love. If you stay, you can limit them from the lessons they need. If you find it hard to leave, then clear the conflict within you that would cause you to stay in an abusive relationship. 


 

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How To Meet A Life Partner

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How To Meet A Life Partner

Have you been single for longer than you would like? Do you believe that there's nobody out there for you? Are you questioning if you'll ever meet your life partner? Falling in love is one of the most wonderful human experiences. If you are single with a desire to meet someone and fall in love, then here's five top tips that can help you to lay the foundations for finding someone and enjoying a fantastic relationship:

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