Questions? Feedback? powered by Olark live chat software
Attracting the Perfect Life Partner (That You Didn't Know You Wanted)

Comment

Attracting the Perfect Life Partner (That You Didn't Know You Wanted)

Have you been single for longer than you would like? Do you believe that there's nobody out there for you? Are you questioning if you'll ever meet your life partner? Falling in love is one of the most wonderful human experiences. If you are single with a desire to meet someone and fall in love, then here's five top tips that can help you to lay the foundations for finding someone and enjoying a fantastic relationship:

Comment

How To Heal Your Relationship

Comment

How To Heal Your Relationship

 

Are you struggling with a particular relationship? Do you question whether you are right together or would you like help resolving any conflict that keep cropping up in your current relationship? To connect more deeply, you want to focus on warming up your own side of the fence first - instead of trying to fix, change or improve others so they are more loveable.

It is easy to fall into the trap of making relationship conflicts about the other person. What they said or didn’t say. What they did or didn’t do. What they meant or didn’t mean. But to proactively move from conflict to connection, you must remember that your relationships with others are a perfect reflection of your relationship with yourself. Here are five ways to heal any floundering relationship.

1. Be the person you want to love

People try to take from others what they aren’t experiencing within themselves. If you think that someone else should be kinder, more communicative, giving etc. then ask: Where can I be more of what I want?  When you become the person you have wanted other people to be, many conflicts dissolve away because you no longer resist the lack of certain attributes in others and aren’t attached to them being a better or improved version.

2. Take everything as an invitation to love better

We habitually want other people to change so we don’t have to. However as the saying goes, when you point the figure there are always three pointing back at you. Look for themes in any arguments, disappointments and common feedback you receive from others. Don’t waste time playing the blame game to instead be open and humble. Explore if any issue you have with someone else is an invitation to learn how to love in a more unconditional way.

3. Look for opportunities to give, especially praise

Service sits at the heart of the most successful relationships. ‘How can I serve you?’ as opposed to ‘What’s in it for me?’ Whenever you feel a problem arising in a relationship, find ways to give and be of service. When you make the relationship about how you can help the other person to be happy, feel loved and have a great day (without trying to fix or change them), then it’s amazing how fluid and fun relationships become.

4. Be willing to share more of your vulnerable side

Raising your defensive walls within relationships is a fear-based habit that can be transcended. There is great strength in vulnerability because it takes humility and courage to let your ‘weaknesses’ be seen by others. I am constantly amazed by how quickly conflict evaporates when one party is willing to honestly share what’s really going on for them. ‘When you did that I felt scared that you might leave me’ or ‘when you work late I question if it’s because you don’t want to be home with me’. It’s very hard to be in conflict with someone waving the transparent flag of vulnerability.

5. Don’t go changing trying to please me

Would you feel completely loved by someone if they always wanted you to be different? If you weren’t quite good looking enough, funny enough, clever enough, rich enough or tidy enough, for example?  How loved would you feel living with that kind of pressure to perform? I can only assume, not very much.

My Spiritual Teacher once asked: Are you willing to fully commit to this relationship, even if the other person never changes? Well, are you? Forcing others to live up to your criteria for what’s ‘loveable’ only leads to a fake love with its foundations based in judgement. But if you desire deeper connections then let others be enough, exactly as they are now, it’s the key to healing relationships and loving without limits.

When Leaving Is The Best Option... The caveat to what I've shared above is whenever there is any form of abuse going on. On these occasions, it’s time to call it a day and get the hell out of dodge. It’s not your job to fix the other person or make them stop their destructive relationship patterns. It is their responsibility to resolve their issues. If this sounds harsh, it is quite the opposite. Walking away can be the very wake up call they need to heal the stuff that’s preventing them from experiencing real love. If you stay, you can limit them from the lessons they need. If you find it hard to leave, then clear the conflict within you that would cause you to stay in an abusive relationship. 


626A1978Sandy-Oct17bcn-+copy.jpg

SANDY C. NEWBIGGING

I teach meditation and heal the hidden causes of health and life issues. I also write books, run an online community and academy and ride motorbikes.


Please like, share and comment if you enjoyed this blog.

 

Comment

Why I Love What I Do + How You Can Too

Comment

Why I Love What I Do + How You Can Too

 

I was working with a coaching client today who recently left their job and is setting up their own business. She was asking about how to get clear on what she wants to do and my response was simply to get clear on what she really cares about right now.

I care about as many people as possible on this planet experiencing peace. I'm passionate about doing everything I can to reduce suffering and increase the happiness of humanity. I'm also committed to oneness and doing my bit to bring more love into the world.

Every morning I wake up, I make my day about this. How can I bring more peace, happiness and love to the planet?  Yes, it may sound like a rather grandiose daily intention, but it's what drives me because I care about it. Deeply. 

pexels-photo-398532.jpg

What do you care about? So much so that you would do it every day, if you could, even if it didn't bring in any financial benefit. Obviously, we all have responsibilities and money is part of the game of being human. But in my experience, by approaching life in this way, the abundance takes care of itself. Quite simply because if you care about it and do it as much as possible, you will end up very good at it and provide value to the lives of others.

It's brought me so much joy to hear from so many of you during January on how the 10 Transformational Teachings online course (currently free on my website) has positively impacted your life. Just a few minutes ago I received the gift of this email - 

"I have listened to the 10 Teachings course at least twice and am currently reading the [New Beginnings] book. It is liberating to let go of my worries about the future and my judgments on the past. I feel ridiculously happy and peaceful with the present, regardless of what is going on. You are truly inspirational Sandy and I can't thank you enough for giving me back my NOW!"

Wow! I get messages like this almost every day and it's one of the reasons why I love what I do. If you haven't done the 10 Teachings course on my website, it's available for free until the end of January, which is when my 50% sale on coaching ends too. I guess the moral of the story and invitation today is:

Do whatever you can to spend your days doing what you care about deeply. It is a great way to discover and develop your gifts and live with positivity and purpose.

 

626A1978Sandy-Oct17bcn-+copy.jpg

SANDY C. NEWBIGGING

I teach meditation + heal the hidden causes of health + life issues. I also write books, run an online community + academy, travel + ride motorbikes.


Please comment, like and share below!

Comment

Merry Mindful Christmas

Comment

Merry Mindful Christmas

 

Amidst the annual pressures to purchase piles of presents, decorate every orifice of your home or office, manage a social schedule that keeps everyone happy, and still leave enough time for the pursuit of the perfect mince pie… It’s easy to end up super stressed and lose sight of the bigger-picture point of what this time of year is all about.

Thankfully you don’t have to wait for the Three Wise Men to come knocking at your door to get the advice you need to enjoy the festivities - free from stress!  You just need to be more mindful with these three top tips.

1. REDUCE THE RUSH : BE MINDFUL OF THE MOMENT

Time tends to feel limited and stress-levels rise when we stop focusing on what we are doing now and get caught up over thinking about all the other things that need done later. The reality is you can only ever do one thing at a time. Through being present by giving all of your attention to whatever you are doing, right now, you naturally end up even more effective and efficient and enjoy the whole experience.

Focus on the task in hand by being mindful of your senses. Really look and listen and tune into what you are touching. Wrap each present without giving any thought to the pile waiting in the sidelines. Properly feel the spoon in your hand as you stir the gravy.  Notice the colours of the Christmas lights that are passing by as you drive to the shops or your next social engagement. 

In essence, fully engage the reality of what is occurring in the immediate here and now. You’ll be amazed by how time has a magical way of stretching and how you get so much more done - with very little stress.

pexels-photo-281417.jpeg

2. IF ARGUMENTS ARISE : AIM FOR AGREEMENT

Whether it is the best way to baste the Turkey, the precise timing for the opening of presents or what to watch on the box. Things can quickly become heated and we all want to avoid the family fighting out their differences by brandishing the nearest luxury cracker.

Arguments usually happen because we are disagreeing on the finer details and forgetting to find the collective consensus.  If you sense an argument arising, you want to be a calming influence by remaining mindful of the common ground. This can be done by rising above the details and seeing the bigger picture preference of everyone enjoying what they eat, getting along great and having lots of fun.

Yes, there are multiple ways to cook the bird. But what matters most is it’s cooked properly and the family doesn’t spend the following few days frequenting the toilet with food poisoning. Yes, you may want to watch a particular programme. But isn’t it more pleasant to muster some festive spirit to relinquish control of the remote?  I promise the positive paybacks are more rewarding than getting your own way. (Besides, there’s always iPlayer later.)

pexels-photo-236128.jpeg

3. IF IT'S ALL TOO MUCH : TAKE A TIME-OUT FROM THE TINSEL

Just because you love them, it doesn’t mean you have to spend every waking moment in their company.  Silence is golden after all and giving yourself the gift of a few minutes time-out can work wonders not only for your serenity, but your sanity too. Find a quiet place, close your eyes and have a few moments of meditation. 

Begin by taking a few mindful breaths by noticing the feel of the air as it flows in and out of your nose. Continue meditating by being gently alert with your attention wide and open. Get a sense of the space in the room where you are residing. Be attentive to the silence that any sounds are occurring within and give yourself the gift of being present for a while. I recommend doing any of the Free Guided Meditations available on my website whenever you get a chance.

Even 5-10 minutes of sitting still, breathing in a balanced way and exploring the inner stillness can help you to hit the re-set button and return to proceedings with more calm and Christmas cheer.  

socks-feet-pajamas-table-85842.jpeg

Let me take this opportunity to wish you a very Merry Mindful Christmas! Sandy x


626A1978Sandy-Oct17bcn-+copy.jpg

Sandy C. Newbigging is a coaching and meditation expert, award-winning speaker, bestselling author and creator of Calmology. 

Sandy has meditated for thousands of hours and done thousands of hours of clinical practice using his Calmology techniques. Giving him a unique ability to help people get to the heart of their issues to 'heal the hidden cause' and experience 'peace with life' via his easy-to-use and understand teachings and techniques. 


 

Comment

Heart Warming Relationships

1 Comment

Heart Warming Relationships

 

For the best relationships, aim to focus on warming up your own side of the fence - instead of trying to fix, change or improve others so they are more loveable.

My Spiritual Teacher once said: 'If you want to know how you are doing on your spiritual path then go spend some time with your family and you'll soon find out!'. It's so true. There are some relationships that appear to have more power than others when it comes to pressing our buttons; to trigger us and make us react.  

It is easy to fall into the trap of making relationship conflicts about the other person. What they said or didn’t say. What they did or didn’t do. What they meant or didn’t mean. But to proactively move from conflict to connection, you must remember that your relationships with others are a perfect reflection of your relationship with yourself. How you feel is down to your relationship with the particular relationship, which is a perfect reflection of your relationship with yourself. Lots of ‘relationships’ mentioned then, but the only relationship that I would recommend focusing on healing is the one with your self.

Ultimately, nobody has the power to emotionally hurt or anger you either. You get hurt and angry when you internalise what's happened by thinking about someone else's words or actions. Whatever you are feeling in relation to someone else is caused by what’s happening inside you, so that’s where to look first - to resolve any issue that may be standing between you and kinder, connected and loving relationships. 

Here are my five top tips for keeping your heart warm this winter.

1. Be the person you want to love

People try to take from others what they aren’t experiencing within themselves. If you think that someone else should be kinder, more communicative, giving etc. then ask: Where can I be more of what I want?  When you become the person you have wanted other people to be, many conflicts dissolve away because you no longer resist the lack of certain attributes in others and aren’t attached to them being a better or improved version. In short, you don't need the other person to be any particular way because you are already experiencing it within your self.

2. Take everything as an invitation to love better

We habitually (accidentally) want other people to change so we don’t have to. However as the saying goes, when you point the figure there are always three pointing back at you. Look for themes in any arguments, disappointments and common feedback you receive from others. Don’t waste time playing the blame game to instead be open and humble. Explore if any issue you have with someone else is an invitation to learn how to love in a more unconditional way. 

3. Look for opportunities to give

Service sits at the heart of the most successful relationships. ‘How can I serve you?’ as opposed to ‘What’s in it for me?’ Whenever you feel a problem arising in a relationship, find ways to give and be of service. When you make the relationship about how you can help the other person to be happy, feel loved and have a great day (without trying to fix or change them), then it’s amazing how fluid and fun relationships become.

4. Be willing to share more of yourself

Raising your defensive walls within relationships is a fear-based habit that can be transcended. There is great strength in vulnerability because it takes humility and courage to let your ‘weaknesses’ be seen by others. I am constantly amazed by how quickly conflict evaporates when one party is willing to honestly share what’s really going on for them. ‘When you did that I felt scared that you might leave me’ or ‘when you work late I question if it’s because you don’t want to be home with me’. It’s very hard to be in conflict with someone waving the transparent flag of vulnerability.

5. Don’t go changing trying to please me

Would you feel completely loved by someone if they always wanted you to be different? If you weren’t quite good looking enough, funny enough, clever enough, rich enough or tidy enough, for example?  How loved would you feel living with that kind of pressure to perform? I can only assume, not very much.

My Spiritual Teacher also once asked: Are you willing to fully commit to this relationship, even if the other person never changes? Well, are you? Forcing others to live up to your criteria for what’s ‘loveable’ only leads to a fake love with its foundations based in judgement and fear. But if you desire deeper connections then let others be enough, exactly as they are now. It’s the key to loving without limits.  


Meditation for healing relationships...

This is one of the best meditations I've found to help heal relationships. I recommend you use it once per day for the next week (or longer if you feel some more inner work would be helpful). It only takes 5 minutes, but the results can transform your relationships for a lifetime. Give it a go! 


626A1978Sandy-Oct17bcn-+copy.jpg

ABOUT SANDY C. NEWBIGGING

Sandy is a modern-day monk, creator of Calmology and multi-bestselling author. His books include Mind Calm, Body Calm and the new Calm Cure: The Unexpected Way to Improve Your Health, Your Life and Your World.

www.sandynewbigging.com


If you enjoyed and benefited from this article, please like, comment and share it! 

 

 

1 Comment

How to Prevent the Common Cold and Flu (Or Heal Quicker If You're Reading This Too Late!)

4 Comments

How to Prevent the Common Cold and Flu (Or Heal Quicker If You're Reading This Too Late!)

The peak season for catching the common cold or flu is nearly upon us. So if you are reading this when first published, you still have time to be proactive in preventing either this year. Or if you happen to be a bit late and are already reaching for the Kleenex, then there are still things you can do to heal quicker and reduce the odds of the next onset. The information shared within this article could save you time, money and discomfort, so it's worth investing a few minutes in reading it!

4 Comments

13 Scary But True Spiritual Truths That Are Not For the Faint-Hearted (FULL ARTICLE)

15 Comments

13 Scary But True Spiritual Truths That Are Not For the Faint-Hearted (FULL ARTICLE)

Walking any spiritual path takes courage. There are several scary but true spiritual truths that anyone with a deep desire to 'wake up' will usually encounter along the way. But be warned, these truths are not for the faint hearted or those only interested in dabbling in spirituality as a hobby. They are also not for people that are content with only gathering ego-pleasing concepts on enlightenment. The ego may want to reject or dismiss these truths and provide convincing reasons for doing so, or they may inspire some pretty challenging questions or possibilities. But for those of us who are genuinely serious about self-awakening, they offer an extremely helpful guide for knowing you are on track and doing the inner work required.

15 Comments

Emotional Causes of Conditions Relating to the Organs of the Body

1 Comment

Emotional Causes of Conditions Relating to the Organs of the Body

Do you have a health problem that relates to one or more of the organs of your body? Such as high/low blood pressure (that relates to the heart) or a skin condition like psoriasis or eczema? Due to the scientifically proven mind-body connection, your physical condition may have some kind of mental or emotional cause. To help your body heal, it can therefore be highly beneficial to adopt an integrative self-healing strategy that takes account of what's happening in your mind, body and life.

1 Comment

Four Life-Changing Principles for True Emotional Freedom

Comment

Four Life-Changing Principles for True Emotional Freedom

Peace with the full spectrum of emotions is incredibly liberating. Just think how free you would be if you weren’t worried about how life might make you feel. How free you would be if you weren’t scared of standing out or being seen, not resistant to the possibility of people judging you, or perhaps not succeeding at your first attempt. If we aren’t going for grandiose goals, it is often because we are held back, not by circumstance, but by a fear of how life might make us feel. Imagine what would happen if you were emotionally free!

Comment

General Election: I want a political leader who is...

2 Comments

General Election: I want a political leader who is...

In today's political world, policy is often given precedent over the person. With the primary focus on the finer details of specific issues like Brexit, national security, taxation, healthcare, immigration etc. I see very little airtime given to what matters most in a political leader i.e. the person at the heart and head of the party. I want a political leader who is... 

2 Comments

The Top 12 Habits that Limit Love in Your Relationships

Comment

The Top 12 Habits that Limit Love in Your Relationships

It is easy to fall into the trap of making relationship conflicts about the other person. What they said or didn’t say. What they did or didn’t do. What they meant or didn’t mean. But to be proactive about moving from conflict to connection, you’ll need to focus on cleaning up your side of the fence.

For the best relationships, look to heal whatever is happening within you, instead of trying to fix, change or improve other people so that they are loveable.  It is not anyone else’s job to make you happy or feel loved, it is yours. How you feel is down to your relationship with the particular relationship, which is a perfect reflection of your relationship with yourself.

Lots of ‘relationships’ mentioned then, but the only relationship that I would recommend focusing on healing is the one with your self. Whatever you are feeling in relation to someone else is caused by what’s happening inside you, so that’s where to look to resolve any issue that may be standing between you and more kind, connected and loving relationships. 

Here are the top 10 habits that hinder loving relationships. If you find you are doing any of them, I recommend using the Calm Cure technique (shared in my Calm Cure book), to help heal them:

Comment

How to Experience Financial Freedom : Video

1 Comment

How to Experience Financial Freedom : Video

In this video I talk about how you can experience true financial freedom with the right attitude and relationship with money. My strategy for financial freedom may not be what you think, so check out this video to find out how you can be free without working harder...

Money: the root of all kinds of evil or a route to enlightenment and personal freedom? With the right attitude and relationship with money, I believe it’s the latter. If we define money in terms of physical currencies such as bank notes, coins and cash deposited in bank accounts, there’s currently around $80 trillion kicking about. Whereas if we include other forms of nonphysical money – including digital currency Bitcoin and funds invested in financial products like derivatives – then the total runs into the quadrillions (that’s 15 zeros!).6 This means that money is both a physical and a nonphysical entity. The reason I raise this is that the nature of money is very relevant to how we relate to it. We all have an objective (physical/outer) and a subjective (nonphysical/inner) experience of money. Said slightly differently, we have the objective reality of how much money we physically possess and a subjective inner experience of how it feels to have that amount of money.

Collectively, we have come to rely upon money to define our sense of self and to feel safe, secure, valuable and free. This strategy will never work because if we seek these subjective experiences from outside means, then they will forever be dependent on fluctuating financial conditions. This dependency on money again creates conflict, so it therefore pays dividends to invest in improving our subjective inner relationship with money – if we want our financial experience to improve. In short, millions of people have made money way too important and a rebalancing of power is needed to return to a more sane and serene coexistence with it.

1 Comment

Emotional Freedom Guided Meditation : Audio

Comment

Emotional Freedom Guided Meditation : Audio

This 14-minute guided meditation is for cultivating the attitude required for experiencing peace with the full spectrum of your emotions.

This is the key to emotional freedom because emotions become problematic if there is resistance to experiencing certain ones or any attachment to only experiencing the ones that we’ve been taught are positive. By healing your relationship with your emotions you are learning there is no need to try to fix, change or improve them.

This comes from knowing you are not your temporary emotions, that emotions are not caused by the external life events that you believe are making you feel bad, but by feeling your thinking about life. That peace is not the absence of emotions but instead, peace is what the awareness that’s aware of all of your emotions feels like, and ultimately, the more emotions the better.

Comment

How To Heal Your Relationship

Comment

How To Heal Your Relationship

Are you struggling with a particular relationship? Do you question whether you are right together or would you like help resolving any conflict that keep cropping up in your current relationship? To connect more deeply, you want to focus on warming up your own side of the fence first - instead of trying to fix, change or improve others so they are more loveable.

It is easy to fall into the trap of making relationship conflicts about the other person. What they said or didn’t say. What they did or didn’t do. What they meant or didn’t mean. But to proactively move from conflict to connection, you must remember that your relationships with others are a perfect reflection of your relationship with yourself. Here are five ways to heal any floundering relationship.

 

1. Be The Person You Want To Love

People try to take from others what they aren’t experiencing within themselves. If you think that someone else should be kinder, more communicative, giving etc. then ask: Where can I be more of what I want?  When you become the person you have wanted other people to be, many conflicts dissolve away because you no longer resist the lack of certain attributes in others and aren’t attached to them being a better or improved version.

 

2. Take Everything As An Invitation To Love Better

We habitually want other people to change so we don’t have to. However as the saying goes, when you point the figure there are always three pointing back at you. Look for themes in any arguments, disappointments and common feedback you receive from others. Don’t waste time playing the blame game to instead be open and humble. Explore if any issue you have with someone else is an invitation to learn how to love in a more unconditional way.

 

3. Look For Opportunities To Give, Especially Praise

Service sits at the heart of the most successful relationships. ‘How can I serve you?’ as opposed to ‘What’s in it for me?’ Whenever you feel a problem arising in a relationship, find ways to give and be of service. When you make the relationship about how you can help the other person to be happy, feel loved and have a great day (without trying to fix or change them), then it’s amazing how fluid and fun relationships become.

 

4. Be Willing To Share More Of Your Vulnerable Side

Raising your defensive walls within relationships is a fear-based habit that can be transcended. There is great strength in vulnerability because it takes humility and courage to let your ‘weaknesses’ be seen by others. I am constantly amazed by how quickly conflict evaporates when one party is willing to honestly share what’s really going on for them. ‘When you did that I felt scared that you might leave me’ or ‘when you work late I question if it’s because you don’t want to be home with me’. It’s very hard to be in conflict with someone waving the transparent flag of vulnerability.

 

5. Don’t Go Changing Trying To Please Me

Would you feel completely loved by someone if they always wanted you to be different? If you weren’t quite good looking enough, funny enough, clever enough, rich enough or tidy enough, for example?  How loved would you feel living with that kind of pressure to perform? I can only assume, not very much.

My Spiritual Teacher once asked: Are you willing to fully commit to this relationship, even if the other person never changes? Well, are you? Forcing others to live up to your criteria for what’s ‘loveable’ only leads to a fake love with its foundations based in judgement. But if you desire deeper connections then let others be enough, exactly as they are now, it’s the key to healing relationships and loving without limits.

When Leaving Is The Best Option... The caveat to what I've shared above is whenever there is any form of abuse going on. On these occasions, it’s time to call it a day and get the hell out of dodge. It’s not your job to fix the other person or make them stop their destructive relationship patterns. It is their responsibility to resolve their issues. If this sounds harsh, it is quite the opposite. Walking away can be the very wake up call they need to heal the stuff that’s preventing them from experiencing real love. If you stay, you can limit them from the lessons they need. If you find it hard to leave, then clear the conflict within you that would cause you to stay in an abusive relationship. 


 

Comment

How To Meet A Life Partner

1 Comment

How To Meet A Life Partner

Have you been single for longer than you would like? Do you believe that there's nobody out there for you? Are you questioning if you'll ever meet your life partner? Falling in love is one of the most wonderful human experiences. If you are single with a desire to meet someone and fall in love, then here's five top tips that can help you to lay the foundations for finding someone and enjoying a fantastic relationship:

1 Comment

How To Heal A Broken Heart

Comment

How To Heal A Broken Heart

I've not met anyone who's fallen in love with the intention of breaking-up one day. We fall in love with the hope that this person is 'the one' and with the intention of it being our 'happy-ever-after'. If you are reading this with a broken heart then my advice can help you to move on and love again.

 

Comment